Diary of personified objects

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A diary style blog of personified inanimate objects giving a first person view of the world as they see it.




  • Balloon
    • First becoming aware of his/her surroundings in a bag of other balloons there are lots of initial conversations with other balloons and ideas of where they are and why they're there. Someone eventually buys them and observations are made by our balloon based on the stories from the bag with the others. He/She is eventually filled with helium at a kids birthday party and is inadvertently let go at which panic ensues followed by acceptance. Before bursting at the outer edges of the Earth's atmosphere, he/she express the view as the most beautiful thing they have ever seen.
    • Maybe the stories came from a balloon toward the outside of the clear bag who could see where other balloons were going and overhear things.
    • Our balloon is very upbeat and optimistic initially before the release. Everything is new and exciting.
  • Urinal Cake
    • A urinal cake is taken from his environment where his friends and family resided and placed in a completely white room. Over time he begins to notice that he's losing weight almost daily and slips into the mentality of a cancer patient unknowing of how much time he has left. The more random objects come and go the more paranoid he gets. In his final days he meets another younger urinal cake and is presented with a chance to pass on his wisdom.
    • Maybe toss in a bit about him thinking he's in some government facility. Water torture and all that.
  • No.2 Pencil
    • The story of a No.2 pencil in a pencil box containing a mixed bunch of other No.2 pencils. He's under the impression it's a concentration camp of sorts. Sometimes a friend of his will disappear and come back all mangled or notably shorter.
  • Soda Can
    • Starts with recollections from clouded memories of being in very long lines completely nude and literally empty inside. He's unsure if these memories are even real but they're his earliest ones. These recollections give way to the present, a cooler in a gas station. He again finds himself in a line, all be it a smaller one, with a large backlit frosty white wall towering in front of him and the line of other cans in front of him. He's at the back of this line and scared because everyone in line looks the same, like him. He can see enormous creatures on the other side of the wall, through the wall, but they're always blurry and he can't tell what they are. Most of the time they pass by on the other side of the wall seemingly unaware of what's on his side, but from time to time they stop on the other side almost as if they can see in, see them. Ocassionally the wall opens and one of the other cans disappears as the line shifts forward. Fear builds the closer and closer he gets to the front of the line and the wall.
    • tab gets broken off, like a piece of his body, get drank, then thrown in the back of a pickup truck.
    • rolls around for a long time, sees dead deer, beer kegs, moments of conversations with other cans
    • gets recycled, death, and life...ain't it great.
  • Candle
    • in a box with other candles
    • menorah let readers figure that out, by posts by different candles
    • gets messages from other candles but the messages are all fucked up and wrong.
    • candles are naked next to each other.
  • kidney
    • leaves jacks body goes to another
    • out of body experience
    • has to work harder.
    • twins
    • sensation the other one close, twin kidneys, in twins.

Possible domains

  • theblogof.com
  • secretlifeof.com